Dave for Prez

Iowahawk is running for president. Here's his environmental platform:

The Environment

The scientific debate is over: man-made global warming is real. Finally! This means we can now stop paying for all those expensive redundant research projects to prove global warming. Not only will this save over $2 billion dollars per year in federal spending, we will see significant reductions in CO2 as unemployed global warming scientists sell off their Volvos and move to mud huts.

To further help reduce the nation's carbon footprint, I will order the Environmental Protection Agency to bulldoze the mansions of Al Gore, John Edwards, John Kerry, and Laurie David, and convert them to more eco-friendly use as free public drag strips. And for all serious environmentalists willing to make the ultimate Green sacrifice, I will offer discounted funerals with hybrid hearses, and framed federal carbon credits for their surviving families and animal companions.